McSweeney’s had an amusing feature by Nick Confalone in April: Your Best Guy Friend Is Me. An extract:
Hello, beautiful woman! Do you like shopping? You do? Then let us go to the local shopping mall and I will watch you try on serapes at the Anthropologie store. I did not know there were so many different kinds of serape! Yes, please model them for me! You will try them on and sometimes I will say I like them, but sometimes I will say I do not. Don’t take my serape evaluation too seriously, though, because these are just random things I say since I don’t really care. No, I am kidding. Of course I care. You look wonderful.
Beautiful woman, come in my house! Why are you crying? Oh, no! When did he tell you? That is because he is stupid. I never liked that boy. Here, let me hug you. Now my hug has filled your heart with gladness, but not the kind of gladness that leads to sexual encounters. Now let us consume ice cream while watching the television. I think Sex and the City is on. Yes, it is my favorite, too. [...]
Hello? No, I was not asleep. Of course I will come pick you up at the party. Four guys? Why not? Well, he should have given you a ride home. If we ever made out, I would take you home. Huh? No, nothing.
Related posts:
- A friend who bleeds is better
Pure Morning [mp3] [Audio clip: view full post to listen]...
i loved this, but i often worry if i should be worried since the real nick confalone is my best guy friend… ha.
Elle, heh. Take it as a compliment
that is really funny but kind of sad , we have all been there buddy ….no shame ..well maybe a little