Firas Durri

Yes, Dane Cook is unsophisticated and so on, but I still found this skit hilarious: youtube link. It’s Dane’s take on ads where an old guy in a button-up shirt asks you to donate to needy kids.

He’s too nice. He’s too sweet. And we’re Americans, and we need our fucking asses kicked once in a while. If you’re too nice and too sweet, that’s not gonna work.

They need to have a fucking dude in a leather jacket, few days of growth, just step in the frame:

“What the fuck are you gonna do to help these fucking kids? They’re playing in a fucking puddle of mud. And you’re just gonna sit there? Fifteen fucking cents. It’s fifteen fucking cents! Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?! These kids need some help, NOW!”

“You fucking selfish, narcissistic, egotistical son of a—fifteen fucking cents. Fifteen! Think about that for a second. You got a fucking coin jar from 1985 that you will never send to Coinstar. Fifteen fucking cents, you idiot. Call three friends, get a nickel each and fucking help this kid out.”
[...]
They need to like, CGI those kids into other shows that you’re trying to watch. Yeah, while you’re watching like a Will and Grace, that little kid Magoogoo needs to just walk in the frame with a sign that says, ‘Remember Me?’

Then leather jacket guy comes out—”What the fuck are you doing?! You’ve already seen this Will and Grace like nineteen fucking times. Will and fucking Grace. She’s sassy, he’s gay—we know!